IMHO: Bedtimes September 29, 2011

Moms, have you ever been talking to another mom and thought to yourself “Why on earth would she do that? That’s not how I’m parenting MY kids”?

Well, if you answered “No”…well, then you’re lying. If you answered yes, kudos for your honesty. Regardless of your answer I want to touch on the topic. I want to call these posts IMHO which for the blogging newbies means “In My Honest Opinion” and the topic I am deciding to broach is bedtimes.

From the birth of my oldest daughter, Charlotte, I have been a firm believer in the bedtime routine. It has evolved the older she’s gotten but one thing remains the same; a firm bedtime. Now, I have been told by some moms that perhaps I am a bit rigid in my routine and that 8pm is a very early bedtime (though, I strongly disagree with that statement as I personally believe 8pm is a completely acceptable bedtime for a 3 and a 1 year old…just saying). Anyway, I want to offer my opinion and shed some light so the next time you ask the “why does she do it that way” question you may have an answer.

It’s true, as newborns our babies lives are pretty sweet. Eat, sleep, poop, repeat. Zero commitments, zero responsibilities. How awesome is that? However, you and I both know that this existence cannot last and that those commitments and responsibilities have a way of creeping up on us. Sure, your baby is fast asleep in her crib now but before you know it she’ll be starting school and that bedtime routine may be hard to come by.
I’m not here to tell you my way is the right way. It’s what works for me and my family. I am here to tell you WHY it works for us and how it could possibly work for you too.

A typical night in our house is as follows:
1)Pick up the toy room
2)Go upstairs and put on PJs
-Every other night is bath night
3)Pick out and read a story together
-Charlotte and I sometimes play a game of Candy Land
4)Hugs and Kisses and Prayers
5)Lights out by 8pm

Now, my children are not the Von Trapps. They do not respond to specialized whistles (though that is an idea…hahaha) and they most certainly respond with a fair amount of whining but they, for the most part, know what is expected of them (Charlotte more than Carrigan obviously). And despite being in a rigid routine 90% of the time, I have tried to let Charlotte stay up later for special movie nights and by 8:30pm she is saying “Mommy, I tired” or she just falls asleep. While it kind of bums me out when our special plan falls victim to our routine I also feel blessed that my daughter will have one less thing to adjust to when she goes to preschool next fall.That is the point of view I want other moms to see. That I’m not sticking my kids with this routine because I don’t want to spend time with them or I am being mean but because I want them to be disciplined. Discipline is healthy for kids and children who have a structured routine tend to be more confident and have less anxiety because they know what’s next. And I think we can all agree motherhood can be VERY chaotic…why not try to control the chaos a little?

I’ll be the first to admit that I like having control. I work through it the best I can and let go where I feel I can (Have you seen my house lately?!) but I really feel that a rigid routine is good for my whole family. We still have fun and there have been times when the routine has been altered but all in all, I am doing what’s best for MY family. Again, this is just my honest opinion but I feel bedtime routines make happy kids and happy mommies. If you’re already doing this, great! If you’re not, give it a try and let me know how it works for you.
I look forward to hearing from you all! Blessings!

Heartbreak… September 19, 2011

The following scene takes place over my lunch break today. The girls were home with my husband today as our sitter was not working. I had just spent the whole weekend with the girls…

Charlotte: Mommy, I don’t want you to go back to work. I want to play ball with you…

Me: Charlotte, I have to go back to work. I will play when I get home.

Charlotte then burst into tears and hugged me so tight that tears filled my eyes immediately. It took every ounce of strength and common sense I had not to call work that very moment and say “I quit”.

Ugh! Why does leaving them have to be so hard?! In related news, if anyone has any work at home ideas for me, I am all ears…

The day the world stopped turning… September 11, 2011

It was a Tuesday morning in September not so long ago. I was 16 and I had dreams of a life outside my small Indiana town. My dream was to move to New York and grace the Broadway stage…hell, I would have settled for being a lowly shop girl in New York if it meant I got to live in that fairytale of a city. On September 10th, 2001, the city was still a magical place. I would see it’s iconic skyline and feel at home. New York was my dream…my escape. I had never been there but I would still manage to escape there in my mind and feel like I belonged. I didn’t always feel that way…it’s tough being a small town girl with big city ideas sometimes…at least it was back then. However, I digress.

At 8:46 am September 11, 2001 the world stopped turning…but I didn’t know. My classmates and I were in the middle of ISTEP testing (Indiana’s standardized test) and unbeknownst to us all the world we had woken up to that morning, a beautiful September morning full of promise and hope, was changed forever. It wasn’t until we were released for lunch that we all knew. I was a student aide for our school’s junior high choir and when I walked in to the classroom, all eyes were on the TV staring at a smoking pile of rubble. When I asked what happened all anyone could say was “They’re gone, the Twin Towers are gone”. I saw tears in everyone’s eyes that day. Everyone’s heart was broken. The dream I had once held so dear to my heart was shattered. Now my escape was no longer a dream, but a nightmare. I no longer had that calming, belonging feeling when I thought about New York. Suddenly, the narrow back roads of Northern Indiana didn’t seem that bad. Perhaps that’s a blessing but part of me still feels a loss. My heart still breaks every time I see the images of those burning towers…not just for myself but especially for everyone who lost someone that day or had to experience that day up close and personally.

In 2005, I finally fulfilled PART of my original dream. I visited New York on my honeymoon and I had a wonderful time…but I didn’t feel at home. I will never know if I would have ever felt at home to be honest. My husband and I visited Ground Zero of course. It was the most surreal moment of my life. In a city that is so chaotic, so busy, that site was still so quiet. The mood was somber…no words can describe the emotion I felt…and this was almost 6 years after that horrific day. I will never forget the way that place made me feel.
Everyone has a 9/11 story. This is mine. I know in the grand scheme of things, I was lucky because I was in small town Indiana watching it happen instead of personally living the nightmare but it doesn’t change the fact that it changed the course of my life forever. It changed us all forever. I wouldn’t change what I have for all the Tony awards in the world but part of me still wishes I could go back to being the wide-eyed dreamer I was prior to that Tuesday in September. We all lost a little bit of our wide-eyed innocence that day.
Say a special prayer for our country today. Blessings to you all and our country.

Causes We Love: Jade’s Hope September 9, 2011

Hello everyone! I wanted to take this opportunity to tell you about a cause I have come across that has really touched my heart: Jade’s Hope.

Today at my job, I had the opportunity to meet one of the founders of this St Joseph County based non-profit corporation, Brenda Warmack. While our interaction was brief, she touched me nonetheless and inspired me to visit their website http://www.jadeshope.com. There, I learned what this amazing group is about.

To give abused children a chance to reclaim a piece of their childhood by granting their dreams or wishes through financial and emotional support.
By giving that dream or wish, a child can feel that they are special and of worth, and they can one day say I’M A SURVIVOR!! NOT A VICTIM!!

D Sharon Pruitt-original owner

Jade’s Hope’s mission is simple. To make a child, a beautiful child that the world forgot, feel like they are WORTH something. To show them that someone cares about them and their hopes and dreams. I encourage you all to check out their website (www.jadeshope.com) and to donate to this cause. According to the website they will give up to $1000 to EACH child’s dream or wish a year and they hope to serve a minimum of 100 children by the end of the year. That’s $100,000 a year!

I just really believe in this cause. Children are a gift and too many people forget that. I can’t imagine a single child not having the simple joys of that go along with childhood. If I can have even just a small part in making a child’s life a little better and make them feel like SOMEONE cares, I’m all in.

Hug your kids tonight, tell them they’re loved, and choose to make a difference. Blessings to you all!

Long time no post… September 5, 2011

So I feel like I have been slacking a bit on blogging and I apologize to those of you who read and are interested in my thoughts. It’s been a crazy couple of weeks. Not bad crazy per se, just crazy. Also, our laptop (my blogging station) is on it’s last leg so if it decides to throw a temper tantrum then I cant blog. Thankfully, Chris has been researching new laptops so stay tuned for new PC news.

We had a death in the family. My husband’s (Chris) grandpa passed away. It was expected as he had just had a heart attack and was 85 years old but it’s always hard to say goodbye, especially to a man as sweet and kind as Grandpa Burgoon. I’m going to miss our playful ribbing that always took place while we were together. Thankfully, with God in my life I know I’ll see him again someday. And Grandpa, if you’re reading this from Heaven, that IS a promise…not a threat *smile*.

I have a few posts lined up here in a couple of days (or weeks depending on the cards I’m dealt in the coming week). Just trying to get photos lined up. For now, I’m going to spend the rest of my Labor Day relaxing with my family.

Have a happy Labor Day everyone! Blessings to you all!